Blue Flea
by bluntblackwerewolf
Summary: Logan gets left alone in the mansion with Kurt, chaos ensues. What will the professor do? Rated for later chapters, and mild language.
1. The Wild Goose Chase

With a thankful sigh Logan sat down on the couch with his beer. Everyone had gone on a field trip for the day and he had the television all to himself, hockey time!

BAMF

"Holy shit elf!" Logan screamed as he jumped off the couch.

"Guten Morgen Herr Logan!" said Kurt pleasantly. "I seem to have missed de field trip," he added.

Logan groaned inwardly, now he was stuck with a teleporting spaz the rest of the day! He growled and changed the channel.

"Logan I vould like to vatch Days of Our Lives," Kurt suddenly spoke up.

"NO," growled Logan.

BAMF suddenly the remote wasn't in his hand, Kurt had it up on the chandelier.

"You little fuck wad! Give it back!" Logan shouted as he jumped to reach Kurt.

"Ach, nein," replied Kurt as he changed the channel to Days of Our Lives. Logan gave up and decided to get a snack out of the kitchen. He was just opening a bag of chips.

BAMF "Danke schön, Logan," said Kurt grabbing the bag of chips and teleporting back to the living room. With a shake of his head Logan grabbed another bag of chips and three more beers.

"Don't kill the bastard, don't kill the bastard," he kept repeating to himself as he walked back to the living room. Kurt was hanging upside down from the chandelier, again, when he entered the room.

"Kurt change the channel," he growled as he sat on the couch.

"Can't here you do it," he said dropping the remote. Logan didn't see it coming and the remote bounced off the top of his head with a clink noise. Logan turned red trying not to incapacitate the teleporter. As calmly as any pissed of Wolverine could do, Logan picked up the remote and changed it to the hockey game.

"Logan I don't vant to vatch de hockey game," came Kurt's whinny voice from the chandelier.

"Then go somewhere else," growled Logan. BAMF The remote was gone again, but Kurt had taken it out of the living room. "Kurt, where'd you go!" shouted Logan.

"If I can't vatch vhat I vant to vatch, den nieser can you," Kurt's voice floated down from somewhere upstairs. At that point all Logan's resolve flew out the window.

"I'm gonna kill the bastard," he growled savagely as he got up and followed the sound of Kurt's voice. As he slowly stalked towards the bathroom door (the strongest place of Kurt's scent at the moment) Logan cursed, in seven different languages, the moron who had made a television that could only be changed with the remote. _Maybe I should knock_, thought Logan as he reached the door. The thought of walking in on Kurt while he was using the can didn't quite appeal to Logan, but he'd loose the element of surprise if he did. Taking a deep breath, Logan charged into the bathroom unannounced. There was a moment of shocked silence when the two parties took in the presence of the other and then Logan pounced. Kurt dropped what he'd been reading and teleported out of the room. Logan was ecstatic to find that Kurt had dropped the remote and taking no chanced Logan put it in the pocket of his jeans. As he walked out of the bathroom he happened to step on the magazine Kurt had been reading. With a frown he leaned down and picked it up, the latest edition of the Hustler magazine. _I thought Kurt was supposed to be a priest_, Logan thought as he pocketed the magazine and headed downstairs to the living room. He found Kurt having a sit in, in front of the television.

"Be the responsible adult," Logan mumbled to himself through gritted teeth. "Move yer damn ass," Logan growled.

"Nein," replied Kurt crossing his arms defiantly.

"I didn't want to resort to this, Elf. But ye left me no other choice," said Logan with a slight sigh. Kurt watched Logan with apprehension, looking for any sign of tense muscles. What Kurt didn't seem to realize was that Logan's muscles are always tense. Logan launched himself across the room in the blink of an eye and landed on Kurt, locking him in a death grip. Kurt struggled and cursed in German as Logan dragged him out to the garage. Logan dragged the blinded teleporter out to the very back of the garage and stuffed him into an old oil tank and slammed the lid shut. There was no worry of Kurt suffocating because there were little holes, bullet holes, throughout the tank, not that Logan was worried if Kurt died or not at the moment.

"Logan, let me out!" came a muffled cry from the tank.

Logan sighed as he sat down and turned on the television. It quickly turned to a growl when he realized the game was over. He sat there flipping through channels for half an hour before he found something interesting. He had been watching television for 10 or 15 minutes when he heard the bus pull in the driveway. With an annoyed growl Logan went out to the porch with a beer. He heard the teachers and students moving around in the mansion.

"Where's Kurt?" asked Storm coming out onto the porch. Logan just shrugged and with an annoyed sound Storm went back inside.

A few minutes later Jean came marching through the mansion. "Is this _yours_?" she demanded waving the Hustler magazine in front of Logan's nose.

"No," replied Logan with a slight smirk.

"It was on the couch," Jean practically growled.

"I found it upstairs in the bathroom and I was gonna toss it. I just forgot to," replied Logan coolly.

"Where's Kurt?" demanded Jean and Logan could feel her trying to read his mind. Logan grinned, time to mess with the telepath. He thought of an intriguing picture of Jean with her cloths off, spread eagle on the bed with Kurt on top of her. Jean blushed. "You don't know," said Jean clearing her throat and trying to hide her blush.

"Nope," replied Logan taking a swig of his beer.

"Let me know if you see him," said Jean.

"Yup," replied Logan shooting her another image of Scott plugging Kurt's ass. Amazingly all Jean did was giggle slightly and go back into the mansion.

"Logan, please go let Kurt out of the tank," came Professor Xavier's voice from the door way. With a sigh Logan finished his beer and headed for the garage.


	2. The Ultimatum

_Hello everyone, sorry this chapter is very short. I have written it very quickly during one of my courses. I shall hopefully upload another chapter soon._

* * *

Kurt was curled up in the bottom of the tank when Logan opened the door. He looked up when the light filtered into the dark area he had been in for over an hour. Logan noticed that there were tear tracks on his face, but didn't say anything, just walked off instead.

_Logan, Kurt, please meet me in my office, please_ came the Professor's voice in Logan's head. Logan grunted in annoyance before he headed for the mansion. Kurt followed quietly behind him, it almost seemed like he was sulking. Logan didn't bother to knock on the Professor's door; he just marched right in and sat down in an arm chair in front of the Professor's desk. Kurt hovered in the doorway for a moment and then entered the room as well, sitting in the other armchair, but pulling it out of arms length of Logan's arm chair.

"Now, it seems that I can't leave the two of you alone for the day," the Professor said, leaning forward in his wheelchair with a raised eyebrow and folding his hands together. "I have a problem with this, mainly because the two of you are supposed to be cooperative members of my X-Men, and you need to be able to rely on each other to get you _out_ of tanks instead of stuffing you _in_ them," the Professor said, practically glaring at Logan.

"I didn't kill 'im," Logan replied with a glare of his own, crossing his arms over his chest.

"No, indeed you did not. But some things can be worse than death. Kurt, there _is_ another television in the teachers lounge. I understand that the lounge has a bigger television, but by rights, Logan was there first. But, that gives you no right to shove him in an old oil tank Logan. I want you to both apologize to each other, and if we have anymore problems between the two of you, I will have to take drastic measures," the Professor said in a tone suggesting he was finished with the two of them.

Logan and Kurt looked at each other, but didn't say anything. Finally, Logan got up and left the room, Kurt following behind him pretty closely. Logan turned down the hallway toward the garage, and Kurt followed behind them. Logan tensed and turned toward the kitchen, Kurt followed. Logan turned to go back down the hallway, and bumped into Kurt.

"Damn it Elf, quite following me!" Logan growled in frustration.

"De Professor said ve should apologize to one anoser," Kurt said, standing in front of Logan, his tail twitching in minor irritation.

"I'm not apologizing for something you started," Logan replied with a growl as he shoved roughly past Kurt.

"But de Professor said…" Kurt trailed off as Logan waved his hand dismissively and continued down the hallway. Kurt's shoulders slumped in defeat and he headed off for the Professor's office.

_Come in Kurt _the Professor called telepathically when Kurt neared his office door. Kurt went into the office quietly, his eyes downcast.

"I tried to apologize Professor," Kurt told the Professor. "But Logan is very stubborn," he added.

Professor Xavier sighed. "That's fine Kurt, but keep trying, I want the two of you to have settled things before the next mission," Professor Xavier told Kurt with a look that said bad things might happen if they didn't.

"I vill try very hard Professor," Kurt replied before letting himself out the door.


End file.
